What Jonathan Taught Me

Alternate Working Title: Life Lessons Learned by Loving Lieder. 

But I'm not that pressed for alliteration.

1. Just because two people love each other doesn't mean they should be together.
2. You can love someone with absolutely everything you have. It doesn't guarantee they will share your feelings.
3. You can't change people. You can't save them.
4. You aren't alone in the whole heartbreak department. Usually, they work in chains. And you are not the end of the chain.
5. Musicians make excellent lovers. Until you fall in love with them.
6. You can't get over someone by finding someone new. Your body rejects them, and your heart feels like you're lying to it.
7. You are not the exception. You are the rule.

Domestic Dispute

Your Mommy & Daddy argue. A lot. About a lot of little things. Sometimes about you. It happens. Your mother is very stubborn. Your father is very oblivious. When your Mom is angry, she voices it. When your Dad is angry, he stays quiet, which only upsets Mommy more. This is normal. It happens a lot. I see it at least once every time I stay over. Do not wry. Do not panic. Arguing doesn't mean divorce. Arguing doesn't mean abuse. It doesn't mean anything. Couples do this all the time. It's normal. There is absolutely no reason to be scared. As far as we can all see, your parents love each other. They are happy together. They love each other and they love you. Let them argue. They'll kiss and make up later and be closer to understanding how to solve the issue the next time it comes around. These little debates are healthy. If it really, truly seems to be too much for you, say something. Speak to Mommy and Daddy when they are calm and let them know that you feel affected by it. You're their babygirl. You have a voice that should be heard. Their priority is to make sure you are growing up well. And maybe, if you feel like the problem needs to be fixed, you can all fix it as a big loving happy family.

Performing Arts

Please sing & dance. Oh my goodness. I don't care if you have no interest in pursuing these in terms of a career. That's fine. That's SMART. But please please please just learn how to dance. Like, oh my goodness I regret not knowing SO MUCH.

Tears for Fears

Girl, you cry a lot. You turn 2 months tomorrow. Just saying, you're probably gonna cry a lot in life. I hope not. I hope you are nowhere near the crybaby I am. But just in case, know that it always gets better <3

I Wish I Was Told This In Middle School

1. Do not kill yourself. Killing yourself is very messy and your mother will cry over you. It is not beautiful or brave, and even if it was, you will not be around to see that.
2. Washing your hair is going to be a chore. But you should do it anyway. Because you will feel better about yourself.
3. Get up late. Have a lay in. Sleep past your alarm. You have a very long life ahead of you and for now you should appreciate the cold side of your pillow.
4. He is going to break your heart but he’s just another male human who finds it hard to deal with Mondays, too. So in a month you’ll wake up and you won’t even remember that little scar on his knuckle you kissed.
5. Don’t spend hours looking up what your name means on google. Your name is your name and you should go out there and do heroic and good deeds and give your name your own meaning.
6. Don’t fight your demons. Your demons are here to teach you lessons. Sit down with your demons and have a drink and a chat and learn their names and talk about the burns on their fingers and scratches on their ankles. Some of them are very nice.
7. Music is good for your soul. Rap music will energize you and boost your ego and pop music will cheer you up. Indie music will make you think and emotional songs will make you cry and think about that boy again. It’s healthy.
8. Victim complexes are not attractive. Boys and girls will not date you because you are sad. They are not going to date you and kiss your aching bones and cure you of your dragging depression. Wake up. Take a bath. Do your hair. Be attractive.
9. Sadness is not poetic. Depression is not beautiful. Laying in bed all day and eating too much is lazy and disgusting and it is not tragic or pretty. Get up. Go outside. Let the sun warm your bones. Live.
10. If it makes you happy, buy twenty of it. Dedicate your life to it. Print it on tv shirts and collect things and draw art of it. Do not care what people think. They are the unhappy people you need to avoid. The abuse they will hurl at you is painless compared to how sad they are. Pity them. Remain happy.
11. You are allowed to be angry. But the world is not working against you. The flowers do not bloom for you and when your mother shouts ask her if she is okay instead of thinking she hates you. She never will. The world walks beside you and is silent. It does not trip you up or carry you.
12. Day and night cycles are natural. Humans only sleep at night because we used to avoid predators in the dark because of our poor eyesight. Stay awake until 5am watching bad reality shows. Wake up at 7pm and have breakfast.
13. Eat when you are hungry. Being bored does not constitute a chocolate bar. Sleep with you are tired. Do not mindlessly obey the sleep at night rule. If you are not tired, do not sleep.

Source: http://lapfoxs.tumblr.com/post/53391129303/1-do-not-kill-yourself-killing-yourself-is-very

In the Friendzone

There's this thing. It's called The Friendzone. Don't ever let any of those stinkin' feminists tell you it's not true. I promise it is. I know. I pretty much live in that zone. I've BEEN friendzoned all my life! And I've done it once.

Friendzoning means that one friend likes another friend, but when they go for it, the person is like "I'm sorry but I just don't see you as anything more than a friend". Womp womp. Wonderful, sweet, funny guy who knows everything about you and has always been there for you gets TURNED DOWN. Friendzoning mostly happens to guys but it happens to girls, too!

My advice to you is DO NOT DO IT. IT SUCKS. Seriously, there is nothing wrong with dating a friend. The one time I did it, I felt awful. Not just because rejection sucks but because this guy had it all! He was hilarious, had lots of similar interests, Christian, spoke Spanish, was extroverted, got along well with kids, made a good impression on my family, literally the PERFECT gentleman (I still don't know anyone in my age group with the amount of respect and manners that he has), and he actually sat front row in every single one of my shows. He was NOT cute, but that shouldn't exactly matter so much. Mind you, the only reason he was friendzoned was because he waited three years to tell me he liked me! (Never do that). But he was a great guy, and I turned him down. I have no right to say that there are no good guys out there, because there are and I was too petty to take one that wanted me.

Now, not every friend is friendzoned. Just because you don't like him doesn't mean he's friendzoned! There are all types of relationships, they can't all be romantic! Jonathan Lieder, who I WILL tell you all about one day (good gosh), is a good example. Horrible boyfriend. Awful boyfriend. He never calls. He hardly says I love you. He keeps the conversation on him. He gets your hopes up a lot. He is by no means the kind of guy you bring home to mom at all. It's not that there's no attraction, it's just that he's not a good boyfriend. On the other hand, he's an amazing best friend. He's a good listener. He likes to spoil you. He is hilarious. He always keeps you updated on his life. And he will do everything in his power to cheer you up. See? NOT friendzoning. Friendzoning means that you will not give this person a chance. This is a situation where a chance was given and, due to chemistry and experience, it was mutually decided that the relationship is stronger as a friendship. Everyone wins!

Expiration Dates

Seriously. Check them. Like, I know that's the most common sense thing on the face of the planet. But actually. I'm not even kidding. Check them. I spent my afternoon at work getting rid of entire shelves of baby food because, out of nowhere, I decided to check and realized a lot of the containers had expired. Only recently, but expired nonetheless. I saved lives! What if someone had bought those and fed them to their baby?!? And it's not just food. A friend of mine took some medicine for a headache that was expired and he was seriously sick afterwords. We were all kinda scared for him for a bit. I'm being serious. It's important. Check them!

Heads up. Not that this will apply to you because obviously you're gonna be a good little girl and remain celibate (>.<), but condoms have expiration dates, too. Just so ya know.